Many people have bought into the notion that if we are successful, then we'll be happy. But then some people prioritise happiness above all else, thinking it will naturally lead to success. So, does success lead to happiness, or does happiness lead to success?
It’s a common belief: hit that big milestone, achieve your goals, and happiness will follow. But then, some put happiness above everything... and end up broke! They believe that as long as they focus on joy, the rest will take care of itself. Unfortunately, they often find themselves stuck, wondering where it all went wrong.
So, what’s the answer to this 'chicken-and-egg' conundrum? How do we find the right balance between success and happiness, and which one should come first?
Andy’s will take you on a little thinking trip around these common misconceptions and explore how so many of us get trapped trying to solve this puzzle. Using evidence-based conclusions, he will share insights on how to best meet this challenge. He’ll show you a way forward—one that balances success and happiness without the need to sacrifice one for the other.
Andy Reid is an award-winning Auctioneer, Host of the ‘High Performance Humans’ podcast, Published Author, and Real Estate Coach. Andy’s book, Success Curious, challenges conventional thinking to help you achieve extraordinary success. He’s been featured in major publications like The Herald Sun, realestate.com.au, and REB, and regularly speaks at industry events.
In this session, you’ll gain a clearer understanding of:
Why success and happiness don’t have to be mutually exclusive
How to rethink your approach to avoid falling into common traps
Evidence-based strategies to align your goals and emotions for a more fulfilling life
If you’ve ever felt stuck chasing success while waiting for happiness, or prioritising happiness but losing sight of your ambitions, this session is for you. Get ready to challenge your assumptions, discover a new perspective, and find actionable ways to take on this challenge with confidence and clarity.
Don’t miss this opportunity to reframe the way you think about success and happiness—and how to enjoy both!
Kylie Davis: It's Kylie Davis from the Rise initiative. Welcome to our wellness webinars that we host the 1st Wednesday of every month, thanks to the support and partnership of MRI software just before we kick off, I just wanted to do a quick acknowledgement of country, because we all know how important country is to how important the sense of home is
Kylie Davis: to our mental health. And so the Rise initiative. I'm here on Gadigal Land and the Rise initiative acknowledges elders past, present, and emerging.
Kylie Davis: I'd really like to introduce our speaker today. Andy Reid, it's his second podcast with us. So it's great to have you back andy. But andy is an award winning auctioneer host of the high performance, humans, podcast a high performance coach and an author with a brand new book, success curious. So check that out. And obviously a speaker. He's also the director of Apollo auctions in Victoria.
Kylie Davis: And he. And so, Annie, I'm going to leave it there and let you kick off, because I know we're here to hear you, not me so so take it.
Andy Reid: I don't know. I don't know. I'm happy hearing you, Kylie, as well. I'm always happy hearing you. I'm happy to sit here in the sun and listen to your Dorset tones. All right, let me let me gang hit share on my
Andy Reid: screen. Here, bum! Bum bum!
Andy Reid: Now excuse the presenter window again. Technicals are fraught with danger, so hopefully can everybody see that you see that fine there, Kylie.
Kylie Davis: We can. We can see presenter mode. Do you? Wanna.
Andy Reid: Let me just see if I can.
Andy Reid: I tell you what, I'm just going to leave it like that because we've had a couple of technicals already. So I'm just gonna I will crack on like that. That should be fine. If everybody can see that. Don't worry. There's no presenter notes that have got any profanities or anything like that on there, much to everyone's probably dismay team. It's an absolute pleasure to be a part of this Rise initiative. This is actually my second rise presentation today. As as fate would have
Andy Reid: it, I was with the Barry Plan Eastern group earlier on today to have a bit of a chat about their 60 property managers, I think it was, which was amazing. Talking about the rise app. And and what have you? And
Andy Reid: realistically gang my my job today is to try and do a bit of a demystification of.
Andy Reid: and whether success leads to happiness or happiness leads to success. It's a common sort of chicken and egg debate that gets had where a lot of people tend to get a little bit twisted where they try and chase success, thinking that by the time they get there they're going to be happy. But then they end up feeling quite empty, which
Andy Reid: is something that I know that I've experienced over God knows how many times, and I'm sure that a whole bunch of you would have experienced it too, and before I crack on, though I want to ask if you could pop the chat function open for me and just answer me this quick question. How are you out of 10. Give us a score out of 10. As to how you are feeling, currently, please, if you can just pop them into the chat function. Just so I can get a bit of a gauge as to how everybody's feeling.
Andy Reid: and I know that you'll probably be feeling better because of the fact you've had, Kylie speak to you. So that's definitely going to be contributing towards some of these good scores. But give us a bit of a score out of 10 gang.
Andy Reid: We've got a few, 8, 7, 6, 6,
Andy Reid: yeah. And look, of course, if I just want to sort of mirror the sentiments of Kylie. If you are up in Queensland, please, for the please, for goodness sake, or north of New South Wales, please stay safe. Yeah. Because I was supposed to be actually traveling up to Brisbane later this evening. But
Andy Reid: it doesn't look like Alfred's going to let me. Unfortunately. So I hope everybody's saying safe. You know there's no time to be a hero. Just get yourself sorted and get yourself battened down so that yeah, everything's all good to go.
Andy Reid: We've got lots of sevens, eights and sixes, which is really really good. Now.
Andy Reid: one thing I want you to ponder over while I have a bit of a yarn around this topic is, have a ponder over. What's the one thing that you could do this afternoon after this session that can help you, perhaps get up 1 point. So if you're at 6, what can you do? What's the one thing that you can do today that can get you to a 7? It might be something.
Andy Reid: you know, like moving forward on a project or something like that. But it might be something really, really simple, just like phone in a friend that you haven't spoken to in years. Right? I had
Andy Reid: an interesting day yesterday when it came to challenges with technology and getting organized for things like today, and whatnot and and I wasn't feeling very fantastic, I have to say. But then I had a text message randomly off my old Rugby coach, who was my Rugby coach, and I was 1718 years old, and just to text me to tell me he's proud of us and all that sort of jazz, and
Andy Reid: that just a small thing like that that he didn't have to do. And I wasn't expecting it took my score up 2 or 3 points. So just remember, you know, you might feel that something simple can help impact. You. Just remember that something simple that you can do can also impact someone else and make you feel better about yourself as well. So please please think about that and ponder that over the course of this afternoon. Now, what I'm going to talk to you about
Andy Reid: over the course of the next 30 min or so roughly, is going to be common challenges is going to be a few things. I'm going to talk about common challenges when chasing success. Now, it's all about that end of the scale first.st And a lot of this is based off a lot of my experience. But then, after that, I want to sort of challenge you on really sort of trying to understand what your definition of success is. It's something that I ask
Andy Reid: all of the guests that come onto my podcast is, what is your definition of a successful human right. And and I really would like to challenge you with that and give you a couple of examples and really explain really my my definition of success and and explain why. That's the case. And now and then I'm going to talk about why happiness is an underrated superpower. That's something that I've put in my book. I do feel that happiness is something that a lot of people would love to have, but they don't realize
Andy Reid: that the power that comes with being happy. The practicality
Andy Reid: that comes with being happy is being massively overlooked. In my opinion I know that people say when they're happier the better, and blah blah! But you don't realize the sheer practicality of being happy in your business, in your family, in your life, in your role, whatever the case may be.
Andy Reid: and we can talk about how that can be formed as well. I'm not going to give you 6 keys. I'm going to make it practical and give you 6 keys that can invite you, that can invite more of both happiness and success into your lives, and these are things that
Andy Reid: I would encourage you to write a couple of smart goals around as well, so we'll go through them. I've got a little Brucie bonus for you around self-belief because I am a geek, and I want to share a study with you that I read that was made in the seventies that is really really cool. So I want to go through that with you as well. Trish. More sleep. Yes, more sleep would be wonderful. I
Andy Reid: found myself at like 2 Am. This morning, while I was punching on with all these presentations and whatnot, because normally, I've got everything licked before then. And I hadn't done a workout right, and and I know that for a lot of us we try and cram so much in. But
Andy Reid: when we get to the end of the day, and we realize the thing. We tend to focus too much on the things we haven't done as opposed to things. We have one thing that I think, and I know this is something that's probably spoken about ad nauseam for a lot of you.
Andy Reid: One thing that I have really brought into my game this year, literally this year probably should have done it way before way before, but this this year is making sure that at the start of the day, and and at the end of the day
Andy Reid: start of the day, I'll say I'll say a couple of things. It might just be one or 2 things. It might be 3 or 4 things that I'm grateful for generally, and then at the end of the day, I'll just say a couple of things to myself, and it don't have to do a journal or anything like that. I'm not a massive journal, Fan, although a lot of people are, and it does bring a lot of benefit, and I'll say a couple of things I'm grateful for at the end of the day as well, just to make sure
Andy Reid: that I'm not being overly critical of myself. I think one thing in the real estate space that is so prevalent and prominent is our ability to be very, very critical of how we rock and roll. So you know, and sleep can be improved just by going to bed in a good mood as opposed to bad mood. Right? So yeah. So that's I get you, though, when it comes to more sleep. Now,
Andy Reid: what I'm going to go through is, I was, gonna say before we begin. I was going to go through the app, but I'm just a bit consciously aware that we're running a little bit behind time. One thing I will say, though, before I even crack on is make damn sure. Please, team, make damn sure that you have downloaded, downloaded the latest version
Andy Reid: of real care. It's really really important that you do, because it's just the best bit of care I've seen in a long, long time. It's free, it's private. So it's not rise getting your information
Andy Reid: data, farming, or anything like that. It's free. It's no obligation. It's private. All data is kept within that app on your phone, and it's not shared anywhere else in the system, and it has some incredible features to it. One thing that I really really like
Andy Reid: is when we do the rapid relief. So in one of the buttons that's on here is the rapid relief button, and and there's a few different sort of
Andy Reid: tasks that you can do right. One of the really, there's a control breathing one which I did in the 1st session that we had at the back end of last year, but a really, another really, really good one is a bit of a reality check as well. I really like this reality. Check one because it asks you to rate your stress level and rate, you know, basically, let you know how happy you are. And then after that.
Andy Reid: it makes you do. It gives you a few examples of a few different exercises that you can do so. The 1st one that I'm looking at here is, if it's safe to do. So focus your attention on what's around you. What are 3 things that you can see?
Andy Reid: 3 things that you can hear, 3 things that you can smell, and 3 things that you can feel. Now this exercise is all around being present. So, Team, while this is the exercise, I would like us to all do this this afternoon or this morning, if you're over in Perth. So, team, if you could just give, I'll give you a minute or so tops 30 seconds to a minute
Andy Reid: to write down 3 things that you can see.
Andy Reid: 3 things that you can hear.
Andy Reid: 3 things that you can smell
Andy Reid: hopefully. It's not your own owner.
Andy Reid: and 3 things that you can feel
Andy Reid: and be specific. The key to this is being very specific. So don't just say window door desk.
Andy Reid: Write the color of the desk right? The texture of the desk right? What's outside the window?
Andy Reid: 3 things that you can see.
Andy Reid: Yeah, feel and smell.
Andy Reid: Let's just get present for a second gang.
Andy Reid: God is just asked, why is this a good thing to do? Because
Andy Reid: being present is probably one of the most challenging things in society these days, because the world's really really loud, it's really noisy. And as a result of that, we're finding it very, very difficult as human beings
Andy Reid: to stay focused on the job at hand. Right? I don't know if you've ever set goals right and then become so hyper focused on the goals that are out there in the future, that you can sometimes look past what's going on in the here and now, or, more importantly, you can forget to pay attention to yourself
Andy Reid: in that moment. It's all well and good looking forward and looking focused on the future and all that sort of jazz. But if the vehicle that you're in in the present isn't operating very well, then, you don't pay attention to it then, and you, because you're not aware of it. When you're not present cognizant of being present.
Andy Reid: then you're going to end up falling on your ass. Your machine that you're hoping is going to get you over to wherever your goals are. Is it going to last you long enough? And now there's a really famous philosopher, and I mentioned this, I think, in the 1st one called Alan Watts. I love talking about. No.
Andy Reid: he was. He was a he was one of the pioneers. When it came to bringing Eastern philosophies into Western society back in the day, and he talks about the fact that in the English language there does not exist. He always talks about being present and being in the moment right, and how the past is the past and the future is the future. You can only deal in the present. But when you think about it right? You you look at the language that we're using, use the word there. By the time you get there it becomes here. You can't actually be there
Andy Reid: where you are, because wherever you are is here, it's not there.
Andy Reid: and so make sure that you are here with me in the moment, because they can only affect what we can affect in the here and now. The future has always got these variables right. Look at Lady Cyclone, Alfred, right? None of us can control that, you know. None of us can control that. So we've got to make sure that we can stay present in the moment and be as best as we can be right now in this moment.
Andy Reid: So hopefully, you've had a chance to do that, and reflecting, and got yourself a little bit more present. Now, common issues when chasing success.
Andy Reid: These are mine, right? These are mine. So this is just A. Bro. Bro. Science of one. Okay. And this is the list that I came up with with respect to common issues when chasing success and never feeling satisfied, because
Andy Reid: as soon again, as soon as you got to achieving a goal, and I'm sure a whole lot of you would have experienced this as well by the time you got to achieving your goal and you succeeded in achieving your goal. How many times did you feel, go or feel, or say, is this. It
Andy Reid: is this all I've got now
Andy Reid: right. And all of a sudden a sense of dissatisfaction comes flying through the gates and into your mind right? And it's very, very difficult for you to make that subside. It's very, very challenging. And when you're so focused on the job at hand, because as soon as you reach your goal it becomes a thing of the past, and when it becomes a thing of the past it's not in your present, and if it's not in your present, then how can it be in the future?
Andy Reid: Right? I know this sounds very altruistic and a little bit Hippy, but the simple fact is, a success is success is a very fleeting thing. Reaching a goal is very fleeting thing. It's a moment in time. It's a drop in the ocean. That is your life. If we were to hang a hat on those drops for too long, we'd end up drowning because the sea it just washes up
Andy Reid: right, we become overawed.
Andy Reid: You see what I mean so constant resistance.
Andy Reid: Now this one was something for me, not just from other people, because at the end of the day. Nothing that's any good in your life was ever it was ever easy, and anything worth having. It's never easy. It's always always takes a bit of effort to really make it feel worthwhile having in your life right?
Andy Reid: The resistance I'm talking about is the resistance that we create up here in our own minds now, and there's so many studies that have shown that
Andy Reid: when we are looking to set goals for ourselves, our brains are naturally negatively biased. And as a result of that, whenever we set set a goal.
Andy Reid: our brain will automatically look for all of the stuff that's in the way between us and the goal. Okay, that's just how it's wide. It's wide to keep us safe. Keep us from getting eaten up by the animals from when we were cave people and whatnot right? And so and so that resistance
Andy Reid: it can be.
Kylie Davis: Who Andy Barrett.
Andy Reid: You're a little bit breaking up there
Andy Reid: challenging. Everybody talks about it being discipline. But I think discipline did hold on.
Andy Reid: Are we okay?
Kylie Davis: Yeah, you're back. Now.
Andy Reid: Wicked. So so we're very like. It's very, very easy for us
Andy Reid: to come up with excuses, and we always bang on about discipline, but the reality of it all is gang is that if we have alignment with what it is we want to achieve and alignment with our purpose and whatnot. And it comes back to a bit of that self-determination theory that I talked about in my previous episode, right where you've got autonomy.
Andy Reid: competence, and relatedness, you know, to the task in your values, right? How connected are the value your values and your purpose to the task that it is that you are doing in order to create a state of flow, a creative, intrinsic motivation
Andy Reid: that resistance requires discipline. If you haven't got alignment with what it is you want to achieve, and what and who it is that you are, and so that internal resistance can be a bit of a pain in the ass, overly self critical. And that sort of relates to that right? Because we're very, very quick to bag ourselves out. I'm
Andy Reid: awful for this, where someone will, you know, say, congratulations on the book, or whatever it is that I've done.
Andy Reid: and for me it doesn't feel half as
Andy Reid: significant as what everybody else views it right, and that's not their fault, and everybody else is trying to show me with praise. But
Andy Reid: I've got to learn to accept it as well, because otherwise, if we just stay in our critical thinking all the time, then we're never, ever, ever going to stand a chance of being happy. And as a result. And I'll talk about study later on.
Andy Reid: We're never going to be as effective as what we could be. We're never going to realize the potential that we really really have. If we haven't got that happiness component right? The need for external validation is something that is very, very prevalent in society. The vanity metrics of society is something that none of us have been able to avoid all too much. But again, I'll talk about a story a little bit later on where around a reel that I put up only a few weeks ago that has seen me cop so much heat off people all over the world, and it's been quite hilarious to be honest.
Andy Reid: But the previous version of me that is very needy. That was very needy. External validation used to really really struggle. I I would have probably deleted that. I probably would have deleted the the real to be perfectly honest. And but
Andy Reid: now, because I've taken a greater ownership of who I am, and it's 1 of the keys that we'll talk about in a bit that need for external validation.
Andy Reid: It's not as it's not as required as you think. But this is something that we all face as a challenge. If all we focus on is achieving the next big thing, the next big bit of success right now. The last one is probably the biggest one, and which is a misalignment with our values. Now, I personally feel, and I, and I've got it in a in a bit of a workbook that I'm putting together, that I will start throwing out. That goes alongside the book
Andy Reid: where I believe that
Andy Reid: if our values, if we can articulate our values in 3 to 5 words and have those values.
Andy Reid: put those values in like a in like a criminal lineup. Right? So you've got your 3 to 5 values in a line in a row, and then you put them with another, like another 4 or 5 sets of values. Right, your closest, your nearest and dearest, should be able to identify which values represent you, and I dare say, if we were all to articulate our values now to ourselves.
Andy Reid: Then I doubt that our family members, our loved ones, those that we adore and hold closest to us would be able to pick us out of a lineup
Andy Reid: which is quite sad, really, and what it does is what it does. Is it.
Kylie Davis: Hey, Andy, we've just lost you.
Kylie Davis: Yeah, we've completely lost you.
Kylie Davis: Okay, okay.
Kylie Davis: is it?
Kylie Davis: Hey? If can you guys let me know in the chat. Can you see or hear me?
Kylie Davis: okay, awesome. But we have. It does appear to have lost. Andy.
Kylie Davis: Okay, just give us a couple of minutes, and we'll try and find out where he is.
Kylie Davis: What's everyone's response to where? Where and there we go, where I'm back? Thanks. Tara!
Kylie Davis: What's how's everyone feeling around like, what's everyone's happiness level, or what's making people what's lighting people up at the moment? And how is that aligned or different to what you're doing day to day and at work.
Kylie Davis: If you can pop that into the chat.
Kylie Davis: I'm just gonna reach out to Andy and see if we can get him back on.
Kylie Davis: Tara's got the joy that you have when you've matched a tenant with a home. That's a wonderful thing.
Kylie Davis: I've been reflecting a lot on the difference lately between fulfillment and success.
Kylie Davis: and and the insights into that are around that 6 that we talk about success in real estate, whether it's in property management, or in or in sales around this idea of external external things like. So you know, money so prestige. Here he is! He's back.
Kylie Davis: hey, Andy!
Andy Reid: We are not destined to be doing this.
Kylie Davis: Mercury is clearly retrograde today. We're gonna blame. Cyclone. Alfred.
Andy Reid: Oh, yeah.
Kylie Davis: We were just reflecting on the difference between success and fulfillment.
Andy Reid: Yeah, okay, cool.
Andy Reid: So let me get back to sharing my screen here again just quickly. So
Andy Reid: alright cool.
Andy Reid: So the realist, the realistic thing gang is that we need to make sure that our values can be picked in a lineup, because before we can even start to remotely think about having success in a way that does fulfill us, which is essentially exactly what Carly just said. There.
Andy Reid: there's no point running, trying to play the game of success. If you're playing someone else's game.
Andy Reid: or if you're playing the game that you think you are, there's you as opposed to the game, that is you.
Andy Reid: which is very, very interesting. It's an interesting thing, and I would encourage all of you to run through that little exercise. Write your values in a row, write a whole, write other like 4 or 5 other sets of values in a in a lineup.
Andy Reid: and ask your loved ones to try and pick which one's you
Andy Reid: and I don't know if many people will get that right.
Andy Reid: Okay, I don't know if many people will get it right based on my observations of when people tell me what their values are
Andy Reid: interesting little thing to think about right now.
Andy Reid: I want to be a story from the playground team.
Andy Reid: So I was having a chat to a couple of dads as we do. We're sort of chewing the fat and putting the world to rights as we're waiting for our kids to come galloping out of the classroom.
Andy Reid: and one of them's having a real struggle with work at the minute, and he's saying I'm quitting. I'm quitting. I'm quitting, and we're like, Okay, why, quitting it just doesn't feel right. And but you know. But then I could go because he's in the trades. He's a trade, right. He's in the trades, and he goes. Oh, but I you know I want to do something else. I want to, you know I feel. You know it's just not making me happy anymore. And all this sort of jazz. And I went. Well, mate, is it is what you are doing
Andy Reid: what you think you should do, or what you feel you should do.
Andy Reid: and he goes well. No, I mean, I've got you know. I think I think I'm good at it, and I'm well. They you've already answered your own question.
Andy Reid: and the problem that a lot of us have is the fact that. Yes, we have jobs. Yes, we have bills to pay.
Andy Reid: Yes, the world's going to keep turning, whether we like it or not.
Andy Reid: However.
Andy Reid: it doesn't mean that we can't live a life based on what we feel we should be doing with our lives right now for me if I was to look at my own example with this, from a real estate point of view, when I was in sales for the 1st little sort of 1818, 9, 10 months I used to really really struggle with being in real estate sales because I was focused on what I did which was selling homes. I don't really care. I have no affinity, no real attachment to property in any way, shape or form.
Andy Reid: However, the game changed for me massively when I discovered that it wasn't what I was doing
Andy Reid: that gave that would have given me the fulfillment.
Andy Reid: Why, I was doing what I was doing was I was using real estate as a vehicle to help people to advance their lives significantly.
Andy Reid: Once I'd understood why I was doing what I was doing.
Andy Reid: Then, all of a sudden the game changed significantly. For a lot of people that might be on this call. You might be finding that you are
Andy Reid: in a state whereby you feel that you are proficient at what you do. You are great at what you you could be the best at what you do.
Andy Reid: But if you haven't got that correlation between what you do and why you do it, ie. The relatedness component of the self-determination theory that brings you intrinsic motivation.
Andy Reid: You're always going to be pushing it uphill.
Andy Reid: You're always going to be finding yourself stuck in a path of resistance. You're always going to be needing discipline
Andy Reid: right? As opposed to having the right reasons that drive you forward with a greater sense of
Andy Reid: fulfillment and happiness and well-being, because there is a greater alignment between the actions that you're taking and the human that you are
Andy Reid: okay.
Andy Reid: And we're sort of coming round to this whole thing of why, happiness is being a bit of a superpower in my life more recently. So before we do that, though, I want to ask you
Andy Reid: what your definition of success is.
Andy Reid: cause I'm sure that a few of you haven't really been able to articulate this to yourselves, let alone anyone else within a sentence. Right? So I would like everybody to just put into the chat function if they may. What does
Andy Reid: definition look like for you? A definition of success look like for you?
Andy Reid: What is a successful human to you.
Andy Reid: Put it in the chat for me.
Andy Reid: So Kylie put a note on there, saying, fulfillment is internal, while success is often external.
Andy Reid: The interesting thing is, if you look at the definitions of success, success is progress. If you look at the Latin division.
Andy Reid: the Latin derivative, sorry of success is, etc, which is to progress.
Andy Reid: And so, historically speaking, success was never a final destination, anyway, which is interesting.
Andy Reid: Talk about that for a little bit
Andy Reid: healthy, connected, and time with friends, love, joy, and happiness. Tara Bradbury! Look you go, hey?
Andy Reid: Top of the class. 10 points.
Andy Reid: What else? Don't be shy going as well. I mean, if success means cars, cars, fast women, and easy lifestyle, and
Andy Reid: own it right?
Andy Reid: Am I adding value? Am I making a positive impact? Am I happy doing it. I'm so glad you said that last sentence, Lisa. So glad you, Buddy, said that last one. So I was worried about the 1st 2
Andy Reid: hands up. If you're a people pleaser.
Andy Reid: hands up. If you're a people pleaser, right?
Andy Reid: I know I am, and I know that that's a very, very quick way
Andy Reid: of losing whoever the hell you are. It's a very quick way
Andy Reid: of losing your own identity if you're forever people pleasing very quick way.
Andy Reid: So I'm glad you said that last sentence
Andy Reid: the sense of achievement of your goals and the progress in your journey of life.
Andy Reid: And now I like that.
Andy Reid: Hello! There! Good to see you now. A couple of different definitions for you, one from Dale Carnegie, which is success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get.
Andy Reid: We all talk about the fact that nice car is going to make us feel good, right? And that's going to make us happy. But you know that new car smell doesn't last very long.
Andy Reid: does it?
Andy Reid: Gives you a temporary dopamine hit, or it might give you a bit of a dopamine hit, for I don't know
Andy Reid: couple of months, but unless cars are part of your DNA ain't gonna last that long.
Andy Reid: Now, my definition that's a really easy is a really good quote right now, mind definition.
Andy Reid: First, st there's 2 definitions here. Success is found when desired, outcomes align with true passions. God knows how I came up with that one in the book. I think I must have written that about 3 Am. And when I was slightly delirious, but it made sense, and then it made sense the next morning, which is good.
Andy Reid: The second one, though, is my go to definition of success.
Andy Reid: A successful human is a human in flow.
Andy Reid: Now, flow
Andy Reid: is a derivative of that self-determination theory. Where you get intrinsic motivation within you, it feels easy, you know, life feels easy, even though life is challenging, it feels that you can take that challenge on right success for me as a human that.
Andy Reid: like, I said, knows who they are.
Andy Reid: is confident he's comfortable with who they are, and he's happy with who they are not.
Andy Reid: When I go through the keys of success and happiness as you. If you want to bring them together.
Andy Reid: One of the one of the key words for me has been ownership
Andy Reid: ownership of who I am and ownership of who I'm not.
Andy Reid: and in order for me to being in flow more often in my life.
Andy Reid: I need to make sure that I am taking full ownership of who I am.
Andy Reid: Now. When I asked about the people pleaser question
Andy Reid: a lot of the time. Well, by definition, people pleasers generally please to the detriment of themselves
Andy Reid: right, they will self sacrifice in order to appease and please those around them, or whoever's at the focus of your attention.
Andy Reid: Very rarely does it come in sync or in congruence with your own vision values, goals, purpose.
Andy Reid: which is really shit.
Andy Reid: And I and I I can talk. I can talk to this because I've lived most of my life, being a people pleaser and be honest.
Andy Reid: it caused me to become tremendously lost, which took me down this mental Health Lane, which caused me so much trauma, and caused me to question my mortality on more than one occasion.
Andy Reid: A human in flow doesn't need to think they can do.
Andy Reid: they can do, knowing full well that any decision that they make, every move that they take
Andy Reid: is based on
Andy Reid: an intrinsic understanding of how, of of how they're feeling, what their gut is telling them. Their soul, body, head, and heart are all in alignment
Andy Reid: where their head, their brain, is bringing the competence piece, the knowledge piece and nothing else.
Andy Reid: That bit's the tricky bit.
Andy Reid: because we all know that competence is the thing that breeds confidence, and if you haven't got competence. Then you are just being arrogant right?
Andy Reid: As soon as we haven't got the level of competence that we need in order to complete a task. This thing starts kicking into gear
Andy Reid: in a big, big way.
Andy Reid: because it starts worrying about the the gaps in knowledge, the inadequacies, the inadequacies in your capabilities and looks for ways to get around it, to get away from it, to run off.
Andy Reid: to hide, to fight or flight type. Stuff right?
Andy Reid: If you're in flow. Your brain is only used to download the information that you need and the information that you need is all there.
Andy Reid: Now the really cool. You can look at this in 2 ways, right? You could look at. If you're if you're not in flow in your life, you could look at it as a detrimental thing, or you can see it as your human hearts and bodies, your body's way
Andy Reid: of giving you the green light
Andy Reid: to just assess your life, and to see which part of your life isn't in alignment
Andy Reid: with where you want to be
Andy Reid: and who you want to be and who you are right now.
Andy Reid: It's
Andy Reid: the body's most natural way of letting you know. Just go check all your bits and bobs, because something is a little bit out of kilter
Andy Reid: or something could be majorly out of kilter. But if it is, I think you will know what it is, and you're kidding yourself into thinking that you don't.
Andy Reid: But you can see this is a problem, or you can see this as a possibility.
Andy Reid: I wish
Andy Reid: I wish back in the day 10 years ago, because it's nearly 10 years since I started my journey with mental health and mental illness. 27th of March.
Andy Reid: 2,015, and I wish I'd have paid attention before.
Andy Reid: because the consequences of ignoring it I wouldn't recommend on anyone.
Andy Reid: So if you're if you could feel yourself ignoring a couple of those signs. There's a little bit of a misalignment somewhere in your life.
Andy Reid: Do well to just sort of dig into him a little bit all right. Now.
Andy Reid: Why, happiness is a superpower, right? And I'll talk to you about a study that I read into when I was writing a book. So there was a study that was done on 977,000
Andy Reid: soldiers in the Us. Military this is only in 2,000. This is only in 2021
Andy Reid: so very, very recent study, and they and they allowed a whole bunch of parameters. They tested
Andy Reid: soldiers, their soldiers, happiness levels on a whole bunch of psychometric studies, and then
Andy Reid: correlated their performance to the level of happiness that they were experiencing, or they the level of happiness that they had in their lives right
Andy Reid: big big study. So it's not an insignificant study of 10 people. Nearly a million soldiers in the Us. Military got tested right.
Andy Reid: And if you want links to the study. Please feel free to reach out. DM, me, and I can send you the. I can send you the reading to the readings for it, and and let you know, so you can have a good. You can have a good butchers for yourself.
Andy Reid: and it was deduced over a study of nearly a million soldiers.
Andy Reid: that those soldiers that were happy in who they were, where they were, what they were, and why they were
Andy Reid: 4 times as effective on any one mission
Andy Reid: when put in comparison with a soldier that wasn't completely happy on all those fronts 4 times as effective.
Andy Reid: Now think about if you think about it from an extreme point of view.
Andy Reid: you think. Well, geez! I'm trusting on the person to the left of me and the person to the right of me
Andy Reid: for keeping me safe.
Andy Reid: 1st to the left of me is happy as Larry, and ready to rock and roll versus the right to me, presenting themselves being there, but feels like they have to be there instead of wanting to be there.
Andy Reid: I'm panicking.
Andy Reid: I'm worried because the guy on the left, the the person on the left of me
Andy Reid: is 4 times 4 times likely to be able to do their job in looking after my 6.
Andy Reid: That's not an insignificant study gang
Andy Reid: right on a pretty much a life or death type job.
Andy Reid: So when you think about it, within our own businesses and within ourselves, it pays to be happy
Andy Reid: pays literally, you all know. Right?
Andy Reid: If you go into work and you're feeling on form. Right? That's how I used to refer to it. As on form
Andy Reid: listings are easier.
Andy Reid: Rental works, easier. Landlord works easier.
Andy Reid: tenant problems are easier to deal with. Take them a bit more in your stride.
Andy Reid: We don't give happiness the credit that it deserves when it comes to the practical importance of it.
Andy Reid: With regards to the effectiveness of our role.
Andy Reid: we just think it's an afterthought, right? We just think that if we succeed in our role
Andy Reid: we're going to be happy in our role.
Andy Reid: There is not just this study. There's a whole bunch of studies that would show you physical proof
Andy Reid: that unless you are happy, success is going to be tremendously limited, tremendously limited
Andy Reid: because of the fact that and this is where I'm coming back to that self-determination theory. Again, by Detch in 1971
Andy Reid: autonomy competence, relatedness.
Andy Reid: We in the real estate space have got a big problem with that 3rd one.
Andy Reid: Lots of people are good at being autonomous in their role. They can crack on and get stuff done.
Andy Reid: hardworking
Andy Reid: competence. You could argue that we've got a bit of a problem with that. But, generally speaking, you know, competence is black and white. Do you know it or you don't.
Andy Reid: But I think our industry and this is where I think so much burnout, so much dissatisfaction, so much unhappiness
Andy Reid: arises is the fact that we really struggle to be related to what it is that we're doing.
Andy Reid: and we really struggle to connect, to connect the dots between what we do and why we exist.
Andy Reid: I think we need to marinate on that as an industry. Because
Andy Reid: whenever we're doing coaching and training and all that sort of stuff. Yes, we've got to be practical. Gotta get. We gotta get stuff done gotta be practical.
Andy Reid: But at the same time the stuff that needs to get done.
Andy Reid: We have done way better.
Andy Reid: If we could help to coach
Andy Reid: our people into understanding who the hell they are, and why they exist, and relating why they exist
Andy Reid: to the roles that they are that they are undertaking.
Andy Reid: Now, if you look at it from an intergenerational point of view
Andy Reid: again, based on studies that I've had a good butcher's app.
Andy Reid: Looking at different generations.
Andy Reid: Gen. Z. Has got a real propensity to need
Andy Reid: a greater purpose than themselves because of the fact that the world is so noisy
Andy Reid: that they are struggling to find their own identity.
Andy Reid: If you are a leader on this call, then I would argue
Andy Reid: that this lack of identity within themselves
Andy Reid: is causing you to lose so many staff
Andy Reid: because of the fact that if you can't provide them with a greater purpose that allows them to hitch their identity wagon to it.
Andy Reid: then they will not feel that they are valid in their timing, their time being there.
Andy Reid: It's very unhealthy, though, potentially, to have them hitch their identity wagon to your purpose as a business, because if if you decide to change the direction of that business, then that can quickly create a lot of unhappy souls.
Andy Reid: We need as leaders, as people within our game, to do our best
Andy Reid: to help people to have the space to find their own identity.
Andy Reid: We've always we've always talked about in the industry, about, you know, sticking to the narrative that narrative of being, you know.
Andy Reid: nice car suit blah blah blah blah blah!
Andy Reid: I would argue, it's because so many people that would classify themselves as successful
Andy Reid: couldn't even identify themselves if you tried. If you gave them their actual values in that lineup, they couldn't identify themselves because they're too busy focused on what their identity should be
Andy Reid: very short, term happiness.
Andy Reid: short term happiness, that is only satisfied by greater dopamine hits, which then ends up being greater risk, which then ends up, being probably possibly
Andy Reid: heading down tract of services.
Andy Reid: having a glass of wine at the end of the day, because that just eases the, you know, eases the day off. Right?
Andy Reid: Sounds innocent, everybody does it. Most people do it.
Andy Reid: But realistically, what is that saying about us? Is it saying that we just like a glass of wine, maybe.
Andy Reid: Is it saying that there is
Andy Reid: a part of us that isn't in alignment with what it is that we're doing?
Andy Reid: So when you have a sip of wine. I'm not knocking the wine drinkers in any way, shape or form, any way, shape or form.
Andy Reid: I would argue, though, that next time you pop a bottle at the end of the day because you just need a break, you need to relax
Andy Reid: just when you're taking a couple of sips. Just have a think about. Is there anything that happened today that isn't in alignment with who I am
Andy Reid: just marinate on that for a second while you let that cool Pinot Grigio just slosh around the slosh around the chops.
Andy Reid: Now 6 keys. The 10 min left 6 keys to improving your happiness and success. Now these are things that I would highly recommend that you do, and what I would suggest that you do with them is actually set some smart goals around each one at least one smart goal around each one of these keys. Okay, let's get practical for a second.
Andy Reid: We're to try and find true happiness in our role and therefore optimize the level of success that we could potentially achieve. Then these are the 6 things that you will need to do not just once you'll need to do them regularly in my humble opinion. All right. Now, when I say smart goals for those of you that aren't aware, smart is an acronym for specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and timely. Right? Put a deadline on them. Okay, put a deadline on them, make sure they're specific and make sure you can measure them. Okay.
Andy Reid: now, relevant is the whole relevance piece that's going to give you that intrinsic motivation, that internal fire.
Andy Reid: which is why that relevance part of smart is so incredibly important.
Andy Reid: 1st thing you need to do is audit your network.
Andy Reid: your network is your net worth, and all those cliched memes that you see on the Internet. Right? So so true.
Andy Reid: so, so true and as well as when we talk about auditing your network, we're not just talking about work. We're talking about personal as well.
Andy Reid: There are a bunch of people.
Andy Reid: I had this conversation with an operations manager in a real estate office here in Victoria.
Andy Reid: The problem wasn't the people she was working with, the problem with the people that she was drinking with?
Andy Reid: She was. She came to me in a deep.
Andy Reid: in a deep sense of dissatisfaction with her life, let alone her work.
Andy Reid: and when we dug into it, and and she was just coming up in with in just in general conversation
Andy Reid: about how the best mate's whinging about this, and a close mate's whinging about that, and
Andy Reid: blah! Blah! Blah blah! All that sort of stuff
Andy Reid: it's hard to forget. It's hard to
Andy Reid: just cut off your best mates and your closest mates, but we need to understand.
Andy Reid: But if we keep them up, to what detriment are we keeping them when it comes to ourselves and our own happiness?
Andy Reid: Stand guard of the gate of your mind now, that is a quote from the late great Jim Rohn.
Andy Reid: Whatever we take in.
Andy Reid: even if it's even if it's subconsciously, even if we're listening to 2 other people at the end of the office, having a good whinge and a moan around the watercolor, or whatever the case may be.
Andy Reid: it is going to permeate into our minds. If we're not careful
Andy Reid: now, it's not to say that you can't have a whinge right, and I will, as being upon it will be intrinsically part of me that I will require to have a whinge at some point or another right part of my part of my DNA is an Englishman.
Andy Reid: However, we need to become a lot more careful or aware, because the world is so much more noisy.
Andy Reid: so much more noisy, that guard at the gate of our mind has to be on like Donkey Kong.
Andy Reid: so filter through.
Andy Reid: Go through your Instagram feed. You know how you can do the search, and it'll bring up all these suggested suggested images. Right? Suggested posts.
Andy Reid: Go through that. Hold one audit it audit like. Stand guard at the gate in your mind things that are going to be detrimental to your mental well-being. On your feed. You can get rid of them.
Andy Reid: and then it'll say, wanna hide more things like this. Yes, please.
Andy Reid: You've got to cultivate a flow of information that is going to be
Andy Reid: going to contribute towards your consciousness.
Andy Reid: challenge your negative self-talk. Now again.
Andy Reid: hands up. If you've called yourself an idiot, or something worse in the last 48 HI know, I believe I have.
Andy Reid: All right. Course I have. I'm a bomb right, but
Andy Reid: it's not a reason that to allow myself to keep that from, to keep that going on right.
Andy Reid: I've got to make sure I set the example for myself. Our words can change our worlds.
Andy Reid: and the words that we say to ourself
Andy Reid: have a tremendous impact, whether we like it or not.
Andy Reid: celebrate achievements. And I've put here in proportion.
Andy Reid: Okay.
Andy Reid: I'm not. Gonna I don't want you to go bloody. Sing from the rooftops because you released the property or you sold a place. Right.
Andy Reid: make sure that the level of acknowledgement is appropriate.
Andy Reid: so the proportion of that success is in the context of your life.
Andy Reid: Sometimes I know that we all can struggle to smell the roses from time to time, but at the same time I think it would be a lot easier for us to acknowledge our successes if we made sure that they were in proportion with
Andy Reid: the context of how big that success is in our lives. Right?
Andy Reid: So if it's just a quick pat on the back a little, yeah, it did. Well.
Andy Reid: awesome. If it's just like one of those little wins.
Andy Reid: Make sure that celebration is proportionate to how significant the win is.
Andy Reid: Always seek balanced feedback.
Andy Reid: relearning this right now that post, that reel that I talked about earlier, where it's just a very, very quick reel. Greg Bryden took of me when I was slamming an auction down right, and I have my own sort of individual baseball bat style of me slamming an auction down.
Andy Reid: and a couple of things one. I didn't realize that how high my pants were hitched up, and it looked like I was wearing boys trousers. So I took that one on the chin. And but the other thing was how a lot of people, a lot of derogatory comments on there that were around, and the fact that you know delusional, egocentric, egotistical, sorry, arrogant. All these sorts of things that are created by people that just have an opinion. Right
Andy Reid: now.
Andy Reid: 2 things balanced feedback. It's not just about hearing the good. It's about hearing the stuff that can help you as well, and the feedback that I got, and the amount of people that asked me to invite my trousers down to my shoes, so that they can have a party tremendously valid, and those trousers have since exited my wardrobe all right, tremendously valid, absolutely very very good because it did look like I was wearing my son's trousers at 1 point, which is an ideal but the other stuff
Andy Reid: we need to take it in balance right
Andy Reid: now. There's certain things like at the end of the day.
Andy Reid: Everybody's got a certain perspective, all right.
Andy Reid: And here's the thing that I want you to learn that goes along with this balanced feedback
Andy Reid: something that I've really come to understand over the last 6 to 12 months.
Andy Reid: The more perspectives we understand and can comprehend.
Andy Reid: The more power we will have in controlling our universe.
Andy Reid: the more perspectives we can understand, the more power we have in controlling our universe.
Andy Reid: Reason being is that, generally speaking, the reason why we get so annoyed when people give us an opinion is because we don't understand or take the chance, or the second to understand
Andy Reid: why their perspective is or their opinion is what it is.
Andy Reid: Everybody that was derogatory in their comments towards that me on that. On that reel
Andy Reid: the vast majority would have just grown an opinion based on a disdain for the industry based on how the industry has treated them.
Andy Reid: We can't begrudge them from having those emotions and those sentiments and those perspectives.
Andy Reid: The great Ricky Gervais comedian. Some of you don't like him, but I think he's great.
Andy Reid: He had a serious interview one time.
Andy Reid: and it was one of the best things I've heard.
Andy Reid: He goes.
Andy Reid: Who on earth do you think you are. How arrogant are you to think that you can go through life thinking that nobody is going to disagree with you?
Andy Reid: How arrogant must you be so true
Andy Reid: if we get upset because someone has a different opinion of others, right of us, or what we do of how we do it.
Andy Reid: If we get defensive about it.
Andy Reid: That's showing an arrogance and an ignorance when it comes to our understanding of that other person's perspective.
Andy Reid: and that segues us into taking ownership of who you are. It's taken me so long to discover who I am.
Andy Reid: my DNA. My reason for existing.
Andy Reid: and I finally managed to come through with it.
Andy Reid: Loads of people say that I do loads of different things, but I really only do one thing. I just do it. Loads of different ways
Andy Reid: you've got to take ownership of who you are in order to have any chance of being remotely and happy, and who you are and what you'll do
Andy Reid: the level of power that comes with that accountability of taking full ownership of everything that goes on in your life.
Andy Reid: It's a bloody, powerful thing.
Andy Reid: I would set a smart goal around every single one of these keys, my friends, just one even.
Andy Reid: and just see how quickly, how much
Andy Reid: your life can improve from being
Andy Reid: going through the motions to have a much, having a much greater alignment with your act between your actions and your DNA.
Andy Reid: Now, one last thing, a little study in self-belief.
Andy Reid: Now, 1976, Albert Bandura
Andy Reid: wrote a review on Self Efficacy, right? Which is another way of saying self-belief.
Andy Reid: and he deduced upon this review that there was 4 things that goes into creating self-belief, because, in order for us to make these changes and tackle these things, that we hope that we think we feel are going to make us happier in who we are, and therefore what we do, there needs to be a degree of belief within oneself before we can change anything. Right?
Andy Reid: Performance, accomplishments, vicarious experience, verbal persuasion and psych physiological states.
Andy Reid: Now to break those down just quickly, because I know that we're running out of time.
Andy Reid: Performance accomplishments isn't just about the positive.
Andy Reid: We need to make sure that whenever we, whenever we go through, so whenever we complete something. We've got to make sure that we acknowledge any of our accomplishments, whether they are good, bad, or indifferent.
Andy Reid: Okay, by doing that alone. Even the ones that we that we don't successfully accomplish. We then be able. It then allows us to take a much greater ownership of what's gone on. Therefore we can still move forward with a degree of belief, because of the fact that we've managed to make sure that even if we've not succeeded in one bit or another bit. We understand and know why that hasn't happened, and therefore we have learned from it
Andy Reid: vicarious experience, that is, when you, when you
Andy Reid: share a level of experience with other people to the point where it's a visceral thing.
Andy Reid: Whenever you do something, you can feel the experience of having done it or going through it. You're not just going through the motions getting it done. You can feel
Andy Reid: with all of your senses what the go is right.
Andy Reid: Touch, taste, sound, smell, sight, all the stuff
Andy Reid: like it's visceral. You can feel it with all all your different, all your diff all your different facets.
Andy Reid: Verbal persuasion is what I mentioned before, which is
Andy Reid: what you say is, what do you say to yourself, or what other people say to yourself, or how you talk to yourself when you buy yourself.
Andy Reid: and then the physiological states is
Andy Reid: the emotions that are drawn, the sense of whether something is easy or if it's hard. Are you feeling resistance, or you're just thriving on the challenge. Are you feeling pain, or are you feeling progress?
Andy Reid: It's a fascinating study that again, I'm more than happy to share with you, and it's more of a review than a study. But the way that Albert Bundora
Andy Reid: articulates it it's very, very easy to understand, despite it being in from 1976.
Andy Reid: So if you want to have a read of it, you're more than welcome to, because it's really really cool.
Andy Reid: and if you are, if you are having a bit of a struggle right now, when it comes to self-belief.
Andy Reid: I would highly recommend that you start becoming a student of yourself, because self-belief starts with self ironically.
Andy Reid: So become a student yourself and start with this.
Andy Reid: because then you'll start to understand what it is that you are gonna be able to do within your life right now, because everybody's gonna have the opportunities to grow a bit of self belief.
Andy Reid: If you can recognize where this self-belief can be formed.
Andy Reid: Was that helpful?
Andy Reid: I hope so. I'm done, Kylie.
Andy Reid: I hope that was helpful apologies for the technicals gang.
Andy Reid: Apologies for the technicals. Was that helpful.
Kylie Davis: That was wonderful. Thanks. Handy. Yeah. I love. I'm a big fan of Bandura. The Bandura triangle is a key part of the thinking behind the real care. App
Kylie Davis: that idea that how we think, how we feel and then how we behave are 3, you know, very different things. They're not just one homogeneous lump, and if you know, one of them will be strongest in each of us, and that's often the way to change your mindset. If you're if you're struggling so great work. Thank you so much. And I love those quotes about success versus, you know, and being in flow, and things like that too
Kylie Davis: awesome.
Kylie Davis: I'm just going to share my screen. Briefly, if that's okay.
Kylie Davis: no. Am I? Because what? I wanted to just check it. No, I'm not because I'm I'm done with the technical dramas today, but I just wanted to let people know that we.
Kylie Davis: My resilience is low. I can't deal with it anymore. What I'm going to let everyone know is that we have the Rise leadership event coming up on the 10th and the 11th of April. We have some astonishing speakers coming up for that. It's in Sydney. If you are an aspiring leader, if you are an existing leader, wanting to get some tips on cutting edge or the latest thinking around
Kylie Davis: leadership. Please join us. Go to thereiseinitiative.org.au click on the leadership, Link.
Kylie Davis: But thank you, Andy. Thank you for a wonderful session. Thank you to MRI software for their support of their wellness webinars, and for allowing us to make this initiative available. If you haven't downloaded the Realcare app, can't believe it. But if you haven't, please go to it on the Google play or apple iphone apple store.
Kylie Davis: Look up realcare and download it today and thank you everybody for being on the call. We hope you've enjoyed the session. We'll be releasing the video in the next couple of days, and sharing transcripts and insights from it. So thanks, Andy.
Andy Reid: Thank you so much for having me gang, and thank you all for being so patient as me and Kylie
Andy Reid: completely balls up the technology between us. So apologies for that.
Kylie Davis: Cool. Thanks so much, guys, we'll see you soon.
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