How big is your emotional bandwidth? If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the constant pressure and demands of work, our September webinar is exactly what you need to hear.
Our coach this month is Peter Gilchrist who will reveal how to get back in sync with yourself and those around you to get more joy out of your life.
Peter is a seasoned coach with many years of experience working with agents, property managers, and administrative staff in the real estate and broking worlds. He understands that success in the real estate industry is not just making money - which he says is easy to coach for - it’s about managing the pressure of your internal world that comes out of the projection of everyone else’s perfect world from social media.
So in this webinar, we’ll learn how to connect in with yourself to truly thrive.
In this webinar, you'll learn:
How to find joy out of life through acceptance and humour.
Actionable steps to make lasting changes towards happiness.
Ways to build a better life and a better business through connection.
Don't miss this opportunity to learn valuable strategies for finding joy in your career.
Thanks, Kylie. And I'll just share my screen. Well, just maybe before I do that, just. Thanks for that intro. Yeah, I am still coaching. That's what I do three days a week is I spend 30 minutes sessions with some of the absolute elite of this industry. Top real estate clients doing between five and 6 million top management clients doing around 30 million turnover. Still working with property managers, as Kylie said. And for me, having done this for so long and taken people on retreats for over 30 years now, I've been taking real estate people on retreat to New Zealand and played in that space of meditation, wellness. It's so cool to be asked to actually share some thoughts around that. And so that's what I'm going to do. In fact, we're about to start a thing called coach. The coach, which is six month certification for coaching. So that's where I'm going to actually share everything that I've ever learned about how to be a coach in this industry. If I could just say, I'm going to slip into a meditation halfway through this. So if you're driving, for goodness sake, don't close your eyes and start breathing deeply. That would be a nightmare if anything happened to you. So you might want to, you might want to actually pull over. We're going to go for about 40 minutes. If you have a question, just put it in the chat. Eva, who's helping out as well. Thank you. Eva will just tell me if there's any questions at the end. And I see there's quite a few jumping on now, which is. Which is awesome. So now I'm going to share my screen and we'll get into it. Actually, that's not what I want to do. Let's do it a different way. Okay. This should work this time. Don't think it has, is it? Can you confirm you can see that, Kylie? Or if I. Still not. Right, that's better.
Okay. So one of the things that I believe in is that this industry as a whole is very goal driven. It's very, very outcome driven. And one of my favourite sayings is to actually give up on the outcome and focus on how you are being, focus on the strategy, focus on what you're doing right now is way more important to me than focusing twelve months out on what your financial year is going to look like. So when we're coaching, we focus on the last three months and the next three months. That's all I'm really interested in. What happened a year ago at the beginning of your financial year. A year ago is of no interest to me. I think that for most in this industry, it's a matter of punching the ear, playing some loud music, watching Braveheart and then going off to work. Not the way that I see it, not the way that I want to coach it. And I would suggest there is a different way of looking at this. It is more for me a matter of what needs to be taken away than what needs to be added to what you are doing.
And I made the comment when Rise asked me to speak, what do you want to speak about? And I said, look, let's just call it. You are exactly where you're supposed to be. I just want to look at this for a minute in terms of why that I said that and how I see this now after working with so many people over such a long period of time is when we are born. And don't worry, we're not going to get too much into whether you are breastfed on the left hand side or the right hand side. But when we were born, everyone says, well, you're born as this pristine diamond and you're clear as. And babies don't have any. It's a lot of rubbish.
When you're born, you bring with you a whole bunch of stuff from your ancestors. So your gorgeous grandma, who you love dearly, was also an alcoholic and you bring a bit of that with you. Your dear old uncle, who you loved and adored, was totally obsessive and he gave you that bit of his personality. Interesting also that your IQ is actually brought with you from ancestors. So your parents give you your IQ so you can blame them if you have trouble with exams. So you bring a whole bunch of stuff. They give you heart disease, they give you, hopefully they give you some happy stuff as well. They give you a pleasant personality, a good sense of humour, but they'll give you the other stuff. The high blood pressure, heart disease, all comes as you're born. Yeah.
Now, what happens then is over a period of time, your mind and body is fed with information, it's fed with instructions. External stimuli comes from all over the place, including, certainly, you know, everything that you see. And then obviously, social media and tv and blah, blah, blah, it all feeds into how you develop and how you are programmed. And part of that is that you end up with sleepers that can be triggered. Now, what is a sleeper? A sleeper is if you are constantly told as a young person, especially by somebody in authority, that you know you're not going to do very well, that you're not up to much. When you're four years old, you go to kick a ball and somebody you miss falls on your ass and somebody in authority says, see, you'll never make a sports person. It's your brother that's the sports person. You bring home a D for maths and somebody in authority says, see, you're not the mathematician, it's your sister that's good at maths, not you.
So these things become sleepers? Yeah. You watch your parents go through a bit of divorce when you see seven years old, and then later on these are triggered. And so your girlfriend, who you haven't been with, your boyfriend, who you haven't been with for very long, says, will you marry me? And it triggers you and you just go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't even know if I ever want to get married. You know, something happened when you were young where you were left off the. Off the football team, you weren't invited to one of your best friends' parties, and got triggered through rejection. You go knock on a door, somebody says, rack off, and it triggers you. And you can spiral into negativity, overwhelm and anxiety. You see?
So the reason that I say you're right where you should be is that neuroscience is now saying that we don't have the choices that we think we do. Everybody says, make different choices. And when you come up into an opportunity, a situation or a problem, they say, just react differently. Why don't you? And they're now putting little neurons on neurons on people's heads and measuring the way that we make these decisions. And they're saying, you will make decisions the way you have been programmed throughout your life. That's how this works. So when you see a situation and you get this incredible opportunity, the most you're going to make of that opportunity is going to be according to the program that you've been running, to the triggers, to the sleepers, to the way you have picked up information along the way.
When you get a problem, you're going to react in a certain way. And the chances are you'll probably react most times in the same way. Now, what this brings about for me is your emotional bandwidth. It's your ability to look at opportunity situations and problems and how wide that emotional bandwidth is. And everyone talks about EQ and how important it is, and it is. And what I see is that people that do incredibly well in this business have a wider emotional bandwidth. Yeah. Because the narrower it is, then the less you're going to cope with things outside it, you see? And so that brings about the question, which is, well, how do I make change? And the answer, I'll give you the answer in a second, but if you don't change something, then the chances are you'll just go through life. You will keep seeing opportunities and not taking them.
You'll see, keep fronting situations and acting the same way, problems you will run from in the same way. And then I. You'll just say, this is how I am. And so the question becomes, how do I change my emotional bandwidth? And it is, for me, very. It's not simple, but the answer is always the same. It has been the same for me for over 40 years, since I started doing this type of work in New Zealand. And really, you know, all around the world. World. The answer is this word right here. It's through awareness that we can actually make change.
And I'll go so far as to say, if you're not aware of the sleepers, if you're not aware of what you've picked up, picked up in, you know, mind and body through external stimuli, if you're not aware of how you react to various things, there will be no change. You will just keep reacting that way and call it fate. Yeah, that's what happens. So awareness is everything for me. It's the ability to step outside almost of our lives, if you like. And I'm going to give you, we're going to do a meditation shortly where I'll show you how you can do that. So I don't like just saying, hey, you got to make different choices or you got to have awareness. You know, what Kylie asked me to do is to say, give us some ways to do this, give us some ways to cope and react differently. And so hopefully that's what I'm going to do.
So awareness is the biggie where you step outside and look back in and say, yeah, well, if I'm aware, for example, one of the things we have is a psychological profile that we use for all our clients and it's called calliper and you can get an order through. My team just put it in the chat that you want to calliper. And so we measure 22 traits and one of those traits, just out of interest, is accommodation. And I love using it as an example because it's planted through the mind and body, through external stimuli, through what you've been taught. And accommodation is your wish to help other people. And if you measure 90 on accommodation, one of my team has 90% accommodation. Reading.
Now, what this means is that she can barely say no to anyone. If you ask her to do something, it's not a problem. If she could help with something, she'll say, put it on my desk and I'll take care of it. This accommodation is both a blessing and a curse for managers, for people in property management and for people in sales, because what it means is you sit down, you're about to make your 20 calls, get rid of the tasks on your screen, and somebody comes along and says, could you do this for me or would you like to help me with this? You can't say no. Your 90% accommodation. Your immediate answer is yes, of course, and it just interrupts your business flow and that's when it becomes a curse. Now, you have been programmed in that if you don't become aware that you have 90% accommodation, then it won't change. You'll just battle on through life, doing everything for everybody else, nothing for yourself. Yeah. And you know who you are? People that do this, you'll just battle on and say, this is me, this is my curse.
If you have awareness around that, then you can pull out and actually look back in and say, next person who comes to me and says, can you help? You can stop yourself and say, normally I would say yes if I say yes to this. Accommodation is one of the reasons a lot of people don't get home till 08:00 at night. Yeah, because you let ad hoc time management things interrupt your whole day and you can't say no to anybody, so you end up staying behind till seven or 08:00 to get things done.
But if I know that that's what I normally do and I actually quite like my children and I quite like my husband or my wife and I'd like to go home, then the next time somebody comes around the corner I can check in with how I'm feeling. And when they say, would you mind doing this? And I can actually look up at them and say, using awareness, that's not my job. Could you take care of it for me? I'm really, really busy today. And so suddenly change is being made. And as we go through the week, we start to learn to say no. One of the things we get people who are high in accommodation is to practice, literally practice saying no.
Yeah. So, you know, awareness for me is the beginning of change. It has to be awareness. Pumping the ear, playing loud music, you know, watching Braveheart is not going to change your accommodation. Understanding that it's there, accepting that it's there now you can make change. You see, now, once we decide to make change and we've said no a few times, we keep getting what I call moments of truth.
So I'm now aware that I have very high accommodation. My moment of truth is the next time somebody says, can you do this? Do you know, if you have high accommodation, you become a target. They put a target on you, you become a dumping ground for everyone. And if you're sitting listening to this in a property management situation and there's a few of you, you know who the easy targets are? The ones that just say, oh, give it to me, I'll take care of it. So these moments of truth are where we can make different choices in an informed way. Yeah, we can override what we would normally do, push the button and go, I would normally say, yes, I'm overriding that and I'm going to say no, that's where we go. So this is how I see. And this is why I say you're exactly where you're supposed to be. You are right now where you are programmed to be. You want to change the programming, change the awareness.
Now, how do you change awareness? How do you gain awareness? And this is mindfulness, which has now become the sort of catch phrase. And I've been practicing mindfulness for 40 years. We're meditating. I've taught thousands of people to meditate. Guided visualisations. And I'm going to teach you how to do it today, because that is the beginning of awareness. And you can see how important awareness is. Now, I call this practice. I find that in real estate, property management and administration in this industry, I have never seen so much overwhelm and anxiety. It wasn't there 30 years ago. It's there now. It is incredible, by the way, if you want to follow, I do do meditations and I give this stuff away if you want to follow that, it's just, you can see down below there. It's facebook.com.peterGilchristcoaching if you want to jump on there to stay in touch.
So I designed a practice, and I just had an amazing manager this morning. Just tell me. She actually read it back to me and said, this is what I do, and it's working. And my practice is made up of five things. When you find yourself in overwhelm, getting a bit anxious, then why don't you try doing this? Yeah. Step one is you have to catch yourself. You have to catch yourself that you have gone from what we call parasympathetic nervous system to sympathetic nervous system. And the sympathetic nervous system, I'm sure you've all heard about this now. It's sort of a big catch. Cry is sympathetic nervous system is where you're in fight or flight. It's not where you make decisions from. It's where when the lion came, we've had it for millions of years. When the lion comes around the rock, you run. That's sympathetic nervous system. You need to move from there to parasympathetic, which is more peaceful, more awareness brought to the situation, and you're observing what's going on.
So you need to catch yourself that you are in sympathetic nervous system, that you're out of control, that the overwhelm is coming. Now, I quite often wear a. Put it up there. I quite often wear something around my wrist. And people ask me, why have you got that around your wrist? One of the reasons it's a really good idea. It doesn't need to be. This is onyx, but it doesn't need to be onyx. Could be a rubber band. Just put a rubber band around your wrist and every time you look at that rubber band, check in with yourself and say, where am I? Am I calm? Am I having a good day? Am I having a shitty day? Am I out of control? I can tell I'm going to have to be until 07:00 tonight. This is not fair. Yeah, this is not right. It's not how I want to be. That's catching yourself, okay? That is how we catch ourselves.
You know, you could put an alarm on your, on your phone for every hour. It just goes three times and then stops. But when you hear it, you stop, you check in and you say, where am I? I'm really cool. I'm going through about my day. I'm on track, I'm quite calm. I'm doing what I need to do and I'm getting things done. Maybe when you look at the bracelet or you hear the buzz on your phone, you look down and you go, why am I doing this for this other person?
Now, please, if you're sitting there thinking, oh, this is not very teamwork. No, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about someone who can't say no to anybody else and who ends up being there at 08:00 because they don't look after themselves. You're no use to anybody else until you look after yourself.
So first thing, you have to catch yourself that things are not going right. Right. Now, the second part of this is as soon as we catch ourselves, we come to the breath. And the breath is everything. The breath to me is everything. And I've studied the breath. I'm a hypnotist. I've studied the breath for 40 years. I understand how this works. When you're in sympathetic nervous system, your breath will be shallower. It'll be up in your upper chest. It'll be in stop out, stop ins. It'll be short. The breath is an indicator of everything, but it's also the first thing we do to regain what needs to happen here. We breathe and we come to the breath.
Now one of the best breathing techniques you can employ is to breathe in for four, hold it for seven and breathe out for eight, and do that five times. And you'll be in different space when you do that. Yeah, so we breathe. You know, the other thing we can do, because the idea is we catch ourselves and we come back to the moment the breath is the gateway to the inside. It's a gateway to meditation. It's a gateway.
The breath is a gateway to the soul, you know? And the other thing that we can do is we can go into observation, observation mode, and we sit in our chair, we close our eyes, and we say, don't close your eyes. Sorry. She can say, what are five things I can see right now? I can see the painting that I've done that's behind my computer. I can see the computer screen, my keyboard. And we just name five things. Then we close our eyes, and we go, what are four things that I can feel right now? I can feel my bum on this chair. I can feel my hand resting on the arm of the chair. I can feel the air conditioning's on. What are four things I can feel? What are three things I can hear? I can hear my computer going. I can hear the air conditioning going, what are two things I can smell? And what's one thing that I can taste right now?
Another thing that we can do when we catch ourselves is we can put our arms around our shoulders and just come back to now and go to the breath.
So what I want to do is I want to just do a meditation with you, and I want to introduce you to your thinking mind, because one of the reasons that we get ourselves into this mess of overwhelm and anxiety is because overwhelm and anxiety is a feeling. It's not a thought. It's a feeling. You don't think it. You feel it. These triggers and sleepers are stored in the body. They're not stored in the mind. Understand that this is a major, major part of mindfulness that not many people teach. So the idea is we check in with what is going on for us. And part of that is you need to be able to separate your thinking mind, because it's not who you are. And I want to show you an actual how to do that right now.
So what I want you to do, please, if you're driving, you do not do this. But if you're in an office and you're sitting quietly, just close your eyes and let's do this. It's my favourite meditation. I've taught it all around the world to many thousands of people, and it introduces you to who you are not, which is your thinking mind. Close your eyes down. Find a place where your head weighs nothing at all. Drop your shoulders, just relax, and come to the breath. Follow the breath in through the tip of your nose into your lungs, and out again in through the tip of your nose into your lungs and back out again. And it's on the out breath that we actually just let go. Sports people, if you're overwhelmed, just let go of everything on the out breath. The first thing you do when you're born is you breathe in. That's life giving. The last thing you do when you breathe out is you breathe out and just don't breathe in again. It's as simple as that. And it's about letting go. So it's on the out breath that we let go. Let's do that.
Now, another good exercise is to make the in breath the same length as the outbreath. Try that now. Now, I want you to become aware of. Just. Just become aware of the voice that's going on in your head. The voice that's going on while I'm talking to you, you're talking to yourself. 400 words a minute. Wonder how long this is going to go for. I hope he doesn't go over an hour. Who is this guy? I've never seen him before. So your voice is going, I want you just to become aware of it. That is your thinking mind, and it is not who you are. So come back to the breath and become aware of the thinking mind, the voice in your head. Just get a sense of watching it.
And now I want you to play a game. Just imagine. Picture and imagine that in one of your hands, you have the remote control, just like the one on the tv at home. And this remote control is magic, and it's connected to the voice in your head. And I know you're busy. I know your mind is going 100 miles an hour. So just come back to the breath. Follow the breath in. Relax. And I want you to use this pretend remote control to turn the voice down until it disappears. Go ahead and do that. Now, what I know is that it'll only be a few seconds, and the voice will be back. But most of you will have had an a feeling of being able to turn that voice down, which is fantastic. Now, we're not trying to get rid of the voice. You need your thinking mind to work, to work things out, to work, to work issues out, puzzles out, and so on. We're not trying to get rid of it, but I want you to understand that you are not your mind. You are the person who was watching that thought. So I want you to go again, come back to the breath. Big, deep breath. Let go on the up, and just become aware of the voice in your head. Turn it down and watch for the next thought. Just watch for the next thought that comes along, and it won't take long. And a thought will come, but just continue to watch it. Do not get involved with it. And it begs the question, who's doing the watching? Because it's you. You are not your mind. Your mind is just a bunch of electrodes in your brain that join together to make a thought. So come back to the breath, back to the breath. From the out breath, let go, turn the voice down, and watch the next thought that comes.
Some people talk about thoughts as little puffy clouds across a big blue sky. The big blue sky is your mind. The clouds go across it. But if you just watch them and you don't get involved in them, then they just dissipate, same as clouds do. There's nothing for them to hang on to. It can be the worst thought in the world. It's just a thought. It was just created in the brain, came out in the mind, and if you just watch it, it will just disappear. Come back to the breath. Back to the breath. Watch the next thought that comes along. If you catch yourself that you're off with a thought, you've gone off with a thought, and you're engaged in it, you catch yourself, you come back to the breath, turn the voice down, and you just observe it. Now, this is part of the practice, and if you are in overwhelm, this is the place to go.
So what I want you to do is just take, by the way, what you're doing is a form of meditation. Some people do this for 20 minutes, twice a day. Some do it for an hour, twice a day, where you just observe the thoughts. Don't get involved with them. You just observe big breath, low down in your tummy, just to anchor the experience. And when you're ready, just open your eyes and come back to me. Just stay with the breath for a minute, because that's the second part of this. So we breathe. These are circuit breakers. This is how we stop the overwhelm, stop the anxiety. But there's more to come, so we go to the breath.
Now, the third part of this is to become aware of the thinking we're observing. So, basically, in its simplest form, we come back to the breath, and we simply figure out how our thinking is going. I'm upset. I'm going on about my mother again. I'm going on about my mother in law. I'm going on about the fact that, you know, somebody just turned me down to help me. Somebody didn't invite me. I'm going on about that. And the mind is like a dog with a bone. It will go back years and years and it will dig up a bone and away it goes. You need to catch yourself. Come to the breath. Observe what the mind is doing. Yeah. And then you ask this question, and it's a really good question to write down, is what I'm thinking about real? Is it here now? Yeah. Is it healthy for me to be doing this?
And what I love, the analogy, I love here, is imagine you're standing on a platform waiting for a train. So you're standing on a platform, it's nice and solid, and you're in parasympathetic and you're breathing and everything's good. And the train comes along. You don't look at the front of the train, you just jump on. And not for a few minutes do you realise that you're on the wrong train. You're going on about the party last Saturday. Your friend, your boyfriend broke up with you, your girlfriend, blah, blah, blah. You know, your children are driving you mad. You're going, you're on the wrong train. It's not helpful. You have to pull the ripcord and get off that train. Yeah. Stop the train and get back on the platform. Yeah. And then we pay more attention to the trains that are coming. So the next train comes and it says. It says, my mother in law, we go, I'm not doing that train today. So we wait for another train and it says, innovation in property management, getting my work done. That's the train I want to be on. Just focusing on work. So I get on that train, you see, that's where I go. So this is about observing and saying, is what I'm talking about real? No, it's not real. It's not here right now. Is it healthy? No. I need to get off this. So we agree that we need to change the train that we're on. Yeah.
Once we change it and we're back to the breath and we're thinking about something, might be gratitude. Don't have time to go into that today, thinking about gratitude. Then we settle into those thought patterns. We settled on that train. Okay. What I need to do is get my work done. What I need to do is go home. What I need to do is go for a walk. Walk right now. Get some sun on my face. I'm hungry. I'm going to go and eat. We settle into that thought path, and then number five is we decide what to do next.
Now, listen really carefully. The more overwhelming anxiety you're in, the less further out, you focus on the closer in you focus. If you are really struggling to breathe, you just worry about your next breath. If you're really feeling something, because this is felt in the body, it's not felt in the mind, it comes from the body. The triggers are stored in the body. You can't fight it. It's coming from the body. We come right back to here and we breathe and we calm, we check our thinking, we get on the right train, think about something to be grateful for, come back to the breath and we settle in to what's going on. But it's here and now. We don't go an hour out. We don't go an afternoon out, we don't go a week out. We worry about what's right here in the next few minutes until we right ourselves and until we can start moving forward. Then we can start saying, in an hour, I'll do this, I can start thinking about later on this afternoon and so on.
But in the meantime, what we're going to do is settle in here and number five is we decide what to do next. Now, when I say that, I mean what to do right now. I'm going to stand up and go and get a drink of water. I'm going to stand out of my chair. That's all I want you to worry about. Stand out of the chair and head outside to get some sun. I'm going to reach for my phone and play my favourite music. Just reach for the phone is all we worry about. If it's real, real anxiety. So this is the way that we deal with this sort of thing now. Just some practical on this, if you're a salesperson. I'm just going to have a look here. This is if you want to take a photo of that, that is get you straight into my Facebook group if you want to join that. But I just wanted to see, no, it's not there. So I'll just come back, just come back to you. And I want to just add some things around this, around this widening your bandwidth.
If you suffer from anxiety, if you suffer from the jitters or any of that stuff, let me tell you that coffee should be a million miles away from you. Do not drink coffee. And I mean at all. Yeah, you need to watch your alcohol intake and your coffee intake. And I cannot tell you how many people have had massive anxiety and been drinking five cups of coffee a day. It's insane. Get rid of that. Yeah. At the same time, get rid of the alcohol.
Now, I also want to just talk about goal setting a little bit, because goal setting, I think, has led us down in the last sort of 50 years. And real estate is massive on goal setting. Setting. KPI's making sure you're hitting your targets and all this stuff. I want you to stop doing that. Especially if you do struggle with a bit of overwhelm or you get a bit anxious. Stop that. These goals are simply used as reminders of how useless we are. Every month we go in and they say, no, you missed it again, you didn't get it again. It didn't happen. You're 20% less than you should be. Or as soon as you reach the goal, they take that goal and they give you a new one. It's just, it's a recipe for anxiety. It's a recipe for holding a mirror up to yourself constantly as to how you're not hitting your, your goals. It's crazy. You don't need a goal. You need an intention.
If you're a salesperson, the intention is, I'm going to see how much I can make out of this marketplace. That's all I need. Then I focus right here, right now in my activity. You will nail that goal ten ways of sideways. If you do what I'm telling you. If you've got anxiety, whatever. I have to get this done by next week. Next week, next week, or, you know, I've got a review next month. Come back to here. What do you have to do now? Give up on the outcome and do what you have to do right now.
And there's one other thing that I want to talk about just for a second, and that is I want to say that this industry, and I'm not talking about property management here, so you can, you can just listen to what I'm saying. Maybe it's you, maybe it's not, but this industry comes from a place mostly of entitlement. This industry is in love with its own reflection. You know, by the time I meet you at an open day and list with you, I've had 23 different photos of you that you sent to me. We're constantly reminding everybody of how much money we're making and how good we are at this. It has to stop now.
Entitlement is in itself a recipe for anxiety and overwhelming one, because entitlement says I should be. I should be at a million dollars by now. Really? Who said? Your programming says you shouldn't be. And unless you make change and become aware of what's going on for you, you won't be, but what you're going to do is you're going to keep battling on and saying, I should be. I want to, you know, punching, trying to punch through, going harder. It's a nonsense.
And what the opposite for me, of entitlement is the word gratitude. If you come from a place of gratitude, you will blow your goals into the wings, come right back to here. Overwhelm, anxiety. I should be at a million dollars. I'm only at 400,000. I'm grateful for the 400,000. Where else am I going to earn 250,000 without, you know, tertiary education? I'm grateful for that. It changes your state, it changes the way you're talking. It changes the way you talk to other people. It changes the way you do your work and it puts you back into parasympathetic. You calm right, right down. So, yeah, I think gratitude, I said to somebody yesterday, you need an attitude of gratitude quite like that. That's the place to start. Not from this ridiculous entitlement aspect of the whole thing.
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